We have many "favorite things" that we love here at Lampstand Press. We love God, and each other, and serving you! We love our work, and our products. We love learning about history, literature, geography, and all the rest of our Tapestry subjects, all over again, as we do the Redesign project. We love (and hate!) wrestling with things like grammar, punctuation, formats, citations, and graphics. (Have you ever tried to keep capitalization rules consistent through 8,000 pages of curriculum? It's quite a job!) And we love to quote books, music, and movies as we work together.
One of our "mostest favoritest" (isn't that gorgeously appalling grammar?) things is the Office Quote Book. Christy has been its keeper for three years; she has collected most of the accidentally-funny or on-purpose funny things that our workers have said over the course of each year of writing and editing the Redesign Project.
We jokingly refer to these as "seasons" of our "show," which we call "The Office." After three years of enjoying these quotes in private, we thought we'd share a few of them with you, to give you a window into our lives. Hopefully we will post a sprinkling of these every so often, so that you can chuckle along with us! There is only one thing that you have to remember: these quotes are taken wildly out of context. And that's what makes them funny. ;-)
A Smattering of Quotes from Year 1 of the Redesign Project:
Cast of Characters: Marcia of course (here called "Mom" since Christy is the recorder), as well as Nate (Vice President of Production), David (Creative Director), Christy (Staff Author), Casey (Staff Editor), Laura (Chief Editor), Grace (Nate's Assitant and Bookstore Manager), and Abbi (one of our production workers). This is back when Production and Development workers were all crammed into the same warehouse space. A word about Office relationships: Marcia is Mom to Nate, David, and Christy (who are, obviously, siblings). David also likes Casey (they have since gotten married), and Laura is one of Marcia's former students.
One of our "mostest favoritest" (isn't that gorgeously appalling grammar?) things is the Office Quote Book. Christy has been its keeper for three years; she has collected most of the accidentally-funny or on-purpose funny things that our workers have said over the course of each year of writing and editing the Redesign Project.
We jokingly refer to these as "seasons" of our "show," which we call "The Office." After three years of enjoying these quotes in private, we thought we'd share a few of them with you, to give you a window into our lives. Hopefully we will post a sprinkling of these every so often, so that you can chuckle along with us! There is only one thing that you have to remember: these quotes are taken wildly out of context. And that's what makes them funny. ;-)
A Smattering of Quotes from Year 1 of the Redesign Project:
Cast of Characters: Marcia of course (here called "Mom" since Christy is the recorder), as well as Nate (Vice President of Production), David (Creative Director), Christy (Staff Author), Casey (Staff Editor), Laura (Chief Editor), Grace (Nate's Assitant and Bookstore Manager), and Abbi (one of our production workers). This is back when Production and Development workers were all crammed into the same warehouse space. A word about Office relationships: Marcia is Mom to Nate, David, and Christy (who are, obviously, siblings). David also likes Casey (they have since gotten married), and Laura is one of Marcia's former students.
"I don't understand people." - Christy, out of the blue.
"Let me explain them to you. The first thing you need to know is that there are boys and girls. They may seem the same, but they are really quite different. You okay with that so far?" - David
"Uh-huh..." - Christy
"Okay. There's a lot of secondary stuff, but basically guys want food and girls want...um... flowers....." - David
"You want to know how much more surreal your life could be, Christy?" - Laura
"Sure!" - Christy
"Choc and Pik play a powerful game of Pok-a-tok." - Laura, reading aloud from her Tapestry week-plan editing.
::Pause::
"But you can't guess from the names which one is a minor deity and which is a human boy." - Laura
"That was work-related! My work-related comments are just funnier than yours!" - David in response to Christy's rebuke for joking while working.
"I will now whisper the national anthem in haiku to myself. That should help." - David, to no one in particular.
"Aren't you proud of me? How often can I edit myself?" - Mom to David, who is always trying to get Mom to be more succinct.
Some of our funniest moments come when Mom and David are "doing graphics" together...
"No, we don't want an arrow." - Mom
"Mother, please. I wasn't thinking anything about an arrow... I was thinking..." - David
"More like a curlicue..." - Mom
"...yeah, or a dotted line..." - David
Then there are those flashes of insight...
"It's funny. Most of the death dates for famous people are certain, but a lot of the birth dates aren't. When they were born, nobody knew that they were going to be important." - Laura, doing people glossaries
"There's a lesson for life in there somewhere." ::pause:: "I don't want to know where." - Christy
David, after Christy has asked him to shush so that she can concentrate:
"I was singing beautifully. That was a gift to the world, the way I just sang!" - David
"You see, Jacob tried this and it worked. But I am not yet blind, and you are not all dressed like goats. It ain't gonna work!" - David on why he can't be tricked into giving out blessings.
"Neo-Babylonians?!?! Since when do we have Neo-Babylonians???" - Christy
"I love eyebrows. They're so useful and quirky. You can say anything with eyebrows." - Christy, wiggling hers for emphasis.
"The chart! Where is the chart?" - Christy, thinking that her file has lost data.
"I ate it." - David
"Oh really?" - Christy
"Yes. It tasted like a lemon cough drop." - David
"Christy, apparently there is a fourth requirement for a civilization. It should be: food, safety, strong central government, and Starbucks." - Laura to Christy, after listening to David
"It's true! Someone should tell Mom. She needs to rewrite the curriculum." - David
"Oookay." - Christy, thinking that it is very obviously 4:30 pm on a work day.
When they start to talk about fonts... duck!
"Casey, I have one word for you! Papyrus!" - David
"Ewwww! That is so overused! But I have something for you. Comic Sans!" - Casey
"Oh, yikes! ... yeah!" - David
"When you two geeks get done gerbilling at each other..." - Nate, who is wandering through.
"Don't die. If you die, I'll be bored." - David to Christy
And then, there are our moments of triumph:
"Mommy?" - David
"Yes?" - Mom
"We have here what strongly resembles a week-plan." - David
"So you're walking around with a wicker footstool on your head..." - Christy
"I am thinking. This is my thinking cap at the moment." - David
"You can't tell me that we should sit here with an unadorned front yard, when the Sumerians have a ziggurat!" - David
"I can't spell 'silhouette.' I'm a failure." - Christy
"Christy, some people are born failures, some people achieve failure, and some have failure thrust upon them. Which would you say you are?" - David
"What is this!?" - Christy
"It's a Word document, Christy. Be afraid. Be very afraid." - Laura, president of the "I Hate Microsoft Word club at Lampstand Press.
"You know you're royalty when you can get away with wearing something completely silly." - Davy, doing a graphic rendering of the Pharaoh's crown.
"That's what he is! Hermes is a GI Joe with chicken legs stuck up on his head! If you can't deal with that, stop studying mythology!" - David to Christy, who has given her candid opinion of one of his illustrations.
"My feet are not a beacon for all mankind, okay? - Christy
"Not for all mankind; just for David." - Laura
"Your feet are my beacon." - David, looking adoringly at Christy
"Cease fussing and know that I am Mom." - Mama, when the din gets too loud to concentrate any more.
"I have cute dreams." - Mom, when we're all laughing at her latest retelling.
"I come, O David, I come... where do I go?" - Mom to David who has asked for her approval on his latest graphical creation.
"Is there joy in Mudville?" - David
"There is." - Mom
"Yes!" - David
"Oh, wow. I just wrote, 'People of the ancient Americas, without the use of mental tools, erected magnificent temples of dressed stone.' That needs to be metal, not mental!" - Christy
"Go back to your computer! And stop being so unspeakably cute!" - Christy to David
"I need my gods, and I can't find them anywhere!" - Christy, searching for the Egyptian gods and goddesses page in Ancient World.
::Pause while Mom and David give Christy a bemused look::
"Yeah, Laban had that problem too." - David
"You know, it's just so convenient that everybody has a goddess for a mother or a river nymph for a sister." - Christy, mostly to herself, flipping through the Aeneid
"I know I do! Don't you?" - Casey
"Let me explain them to you. The first thing you need to know is that there are boys and girls. They may seem the same, but they are really quite different. You okay with that so far?" - David
"Uh-huh..." - Christy
"Okay. There's a lot of secondary stuff, but basically guys want food and girls want...um... flowers....." - David
"You want to know how much more surreal your life could be, Christy?" - Laura
"Sure!" - Christy
"Choc and Pik play a powerful game of Pok-a-tok." - Laura, reading aloud from her Tapestry week-plan editing.
::Pause::
"But you can't guess from the names which one is a minor deity and which is a human boy." - Laura
"That was work-related! My work-related comments are just funnier than yours!" - David in response to Christy's rebuke for joking while working.
"I will now whisper the national anthem in haiku to myself. That should help." - David, to no one in particular.
"Aren't you proud of me? How often can I edit myself?" - Mom to David, who is always trying to get Mom to be more succinct.
Some of our funniest moments come when Mom and David are "doing graphics" together...
"No, we don't want an arrow." - Mom
"Mother, please. I wasn't thinking anything about an arrow... I was thinking..." - David
"More like a curlicue..." - Mom
"...yeah, or a dotted line..." - David
Then there are those flashes of insight...
"It's funny. Most of the death dates for famous people are certain, but a lot of the birth dates aren't. When they were born, nobody knew that they were going to be important." - Laura, doing people glossaries
"There's a lesson for life in there somewhere." ::pause:: "I don't want to know where." - Christy
David, after Christy has asked him to shush so that she can concentrate:
"I was singing beautifully. That was a gift to the world, the way I just sang!" - David
"You see, Jacob tried this and it worked. But I am not yet blind, and you are not all dressed like goats. It ain't gonna work!" - David on why he can't be tricked into giving out blessings.
"Neo-Babylonians?!?! Since when do we have Neo-Babylonians???" - Christy
"I love eyebrows. They're so useful and quirky. You can say anything with eyebrows." - Christy, wiggling hers for emphasis.
"The chart! Where is the chart?" - Christy, thinking that her file has lost data.
"I ate it." - David
"Oh really?" - Christy
"Yes. It tasted like a lemon cough drop." - David
"Christy, apparently there is a fourth requirement for a civilization. It should be: food, safety, strong central government, and Starbucks." - Laura to Christy, after listening to David
"It's true! Someone should tell Mom. She needs to rewrite the curriculum." - David
"Oookay." - Christy, thinking that it is very obviously 4:30 pm on a work day.
When they start to talk about fonts... duck!
"Casey, I have one word for you! Papyrus!" - David
"Ewwww! That is so overused! But I have something for you. Comic Sans!" - Casey
"Oh, yikes! ... yeah!" - David
"When you two geeks get done gerbilling at each other..." - Nate, who is wandering through.
"Don't die. If you die, I'll be bored." - David to Christy
And then, there are our moments of triumph:
"Mommy?" - David
"Yes?" - Mom
"We have here what strongly resembles a week-plan." - David
"So you're walking around with a wicker footstool on your head..." - Christy
"I am thinking. This is my thinking cap at the moment." - David
"You can't tell me that we should sit here with an unadorned front yard, when the Sumerians have a ziggurat!" - David
"I can't spell 'silhouette.' I'm a failure." - Christy
"Christy, some people are born failures, some people achieve failure, and some have failure thrust upon them. Which would you say you are?" - David
"What is this!?" - Christy
"It's a Word document, Christy. Be afraid. Be very afraid." - Laura, president of the "I Hate Microsoft Word club at Lampstand Press.
"You know you're royalty when you can get away with wearing something completely silly." - Davy, doing a graphic rendering of the Pharaoh's crown.
"That's what he is! Hermes is a GI Joe with chicken legs stuck up on his head! If you can't deal with that, stop studying mythology!" - David to Christy, who has given her candid opinion of one of his illustrations.
"My feet are not a beacon for all mankind, okay? - Christy
"Not for all mankind; just for David." - Laura
"Your feet are my beacon." - David, looking adoringly at Christy
"Cease fussing and know that I am Mom." - Mama, when the din gets too loud to concentrate any more.
"I have cute dreams." - Mom, when we're all laughing at her latest retelling.
"I come, O David, I come... where do I go?" - Mom to David who has asked for her approval on his latest graphical creation.
"Is there joy in Mudville?" - David
"There is." - Mom
"Yes!" - David
"Oh, wow. I just wrote, 'People of the ancient Americas, without the use of mental tools, erected magnificent temples of dressed stone.' That needs to be metal, not mental!" - Christy
"Go back to your computer! And stop being so unspeakably cute!" - Christy to David
"I need my gods, and I can't find them anywhere!" - Christy, searching for the Egyptian gods and goddesses page in Ancient World.
::Pause while Mom and David give Christy a bemused look::
"Yeah, Laban had that problem too." - David
"You know, it's just so convenient that everybody has a goddess for a mother or a river nymph for a sister." - Christy, mostly to herself, flipping through the Aeneid
"I know I do! Don't you?" - Casey
Greetings!
Christy Somerville (CJ) here! I respectfully but unashamedly beg to interrupt your regularly scheduled blog in order to honor my mother on her 50th birthday. At noon on a Tuesday exactly fifty years ago, Marcia Somerville came into the world. She has been blessing people ever since.
There are so many things that I might tell you about my mother. I could relate the course of her various brief careers as a ski instructor, a radio DJ, a drama major and later a director of Greek plays, a European tour guide, and a bona fide artist of clay and pottery (really!--We still have the wheel and kiln.).
I could also tell you about her love for trying new things, including her latest favorite: saltwater aquariums. I will show you pictures of the last one, because it's pretty impressive for a 49-year-old who is a self-professed math and science dunce to take up all the finicky salt-and-light-and-algae-and-water-and-chemicals management of her own 3 X 6 foot saltwater reef tank! She loves to do this with Dad (who is the math/science whiz and engineer extraordinaire of the project), and she has even learned to solder tank partitions and build complicated-looking compartments in their "Engine Room." See?
But look at the results; haven't they done a beautiful job?
The fish tank is just the latest wrinkle. Over the years I have watched Mom tackle jobs as various as building and decorating her dream house, learning to garden, maintaining, strengthening, and beautifying her marriage, and simultaneously acting as teacher, boss, best friend, counselor, nurse, and best of all, Mom, to her growing and grown-up children.
A few nights ago we all gathered to celebrate Mommy's birthday. As is traditional in our home, we went around the table and honored her for the various evidences of God's grace that we have seen in the past year. My older brothers pointed out her faithfulness and perseverance, which they now especially appreciate as head-of-households. My younger brother and I, who get to work with her every day, talked about how much we enjoy the humor of the office and love it that she is our boss. My little sisters, aged 20 and 17, talked about how they have grown to appreciate her as a friend and confidante as they step into college and womanhood. Daddy said how amazing it was to him that he knows her so well and yet she still surprises and delights him every time he turns around.
All these are wonderful things. But I want to say again here one of the things that I said to her that night, which I think we kids and Dad would all agree is the most important thing. This is the substance of it,
"Mommy," I said, looking down the long, heavy-laden family table to where she sat beside Dad, "I love you for so many reasons. I love having you for a friend. I love your sense of humor. I love the way you try new things, especially since I'm afraid of them! But most, most of all, I love it that you have made the Gospel real to me. You know I'm not a very trusting person, and if I could see that the Gospel didn't really make a difference in your life and Daddy's, I wouldn't have accepted it. And if I hadn't accepted it, I wouldn't have this sense of peace, of knowing who I am and what I'm about, of being happy and content, that I see lacking in the lives of so many singles around me. I wouldn't have hung my life on the Good News. Your example hasn't been perfect, but it has been genuine. You've shown that the Gospel works. You've made it real, and beautiful. I'm going to live the rest of my life by the Gospel, and in a big way, that's because of your day-in and day-out example. I love you for that."
So Mommy, just to reiterate... it's not the clothes you wear; it's not the way you do your hair. It's not because you're adorably cute, and it's not because you have such fun hobbies. It's not because you try new things, or because you're well-educated and gifted. It's not because you're perfectly competent, or perfectly patient, or perfectly trusting in God (you would be the first to say that you aren't any of those things!). It's not because you're the best boss ever and the "most funnest" person in the world with whom I could be writing a curriculum. It isn't even because you love other moms like all get out. In short, it's not because you are some sort of perfect SuperWonderfulFrabjousGodly Homeschooling Mom (none of us are that!). It's because you love God, and your life shows that loving God is better than anything else.
You once taught me never to underestimate the power of an example, whether good or bad. Mommy, I don't think I could underestimate the power of your example. How kind, how unspeakably kind of God, to save you out of your sin and make you into what you are today! The Gospel is effective. It's effect on you dazzles me every day of my life, and makes me more in love with God than ever.
Christy Somerville (CJ) here! I respectfully but unashamedly beg to interrupt your regularly scheduled blog in order to honor my mother on her 50th birthday. At noon on a Tuesday exactly fifty years ago, Marcia Somerville came into the world. She has been blessing people ever since.
There are so many things that I might tell you about my mother. I could relate the course of her various brief careers as a ski instructor, a radio DJ, a drama major and later a director of Greek plays, a European tour guide, and a bona fide artist of clay and pottery (really!--We still have the wheel and kiln.).
I could also tell you about her love for trying new things, including her latest favorite: saltwater aquariums. I will show you pictures of the last one, because it's pretty impressive for a 49-year-old who is a self-professed math and science dunce to take up all the finicky salt-and-light-and-algae-and-water-and-chemicals management of her own 3 X 6 foot saltwater reef tank! She loves to do this with Dad (who is the math/science whiz and engineer extraordinaire of the project), and she has even learned to solder tank partitions and build complicated-looking compartments in their "Engine Room." See?
But look at the results; haven't they done a beautiful job?
The fish tank is just the latest wrinkle. Over the years I have watched Mom tackle jobs as various as building and decorating her dream house, learning to garden, maintaining, strengthening, and beautifying her marriage, and simultaneously acting as teacher, boss, best friend, counselor, nurse, and best of all, Mom, to her growing and grown-up children.
A few nights ago we all gathered to celebrate Mommy's birthday. As is traditional in our home, we went around the table and honored her for the various evidences of God's grace that we have seen in the past year. My older brothers pointed out her faithfulness and perseverance, which they now especially appreciate as head-of-households. My younger brother and I, who get to work with her every day, talked about how much we enjoy the humor of the office and love it that she is our boss. My little sisters, aged 20 and 17, talked about how they have grown to appreciate her as a friend and confidante as they step into college and womanhood. Daddy said how amazing it was to him that he knows her so well and yet she still surprises and delights him every time he turns around.
All these are wonderful things. But I want to say again here one of the things that I said to her that night, which I think we kids and Dad would all agree is the most important thing. This is the substance of it,
"Mommy," I said, looking down the long, heavy-laden family table to where she sat beside Dad, "I love you for so many reasons. I love having you for a friend. I love your sense of humor. I love the way you try new things, especially since I'm afraid of them! But most, most of all, I love it that you have made the Gospel real to me. You know I'm not a very trusting person, and if I could see that the Gospel didn't really make a difference in your life and Daddy's, I wouldn't have accepted it. And if I hadn't accepted it, I wouldn't have this sense of peace, of knowing who I am and what I'm about, of being happy and content, that I see lacking in the lives of so many singles around me. I wouldn't have hung my life on the Good News. Your example hasn't been perfect, but it has been genuine. You've shown that the Gospel works. You've made it real, and beautiful. I'm going to live the rest of my life by the Gospel, and in a big way, that's because of your day-in and day-out example. I love you for that."
So Mommy, just to reiterate... it's not the clothes you wear; it's not the way you do your hair. It's not because you're adorably cute, and it's not because you have such fun hobbies. It's not because you try new things, or because you're well-educated and gifted. It's not because you're perfectly competent, or perfectly patient, or perfectly trusting in God (you would be the first to say that you aren't any of those things!). It's not because you're the best boss ever and the "most funnest" person in the world with whom I could be writing a curriculum. It isn't even because you love other moms like all get out. In short, it's not because you are some sort of perfect SuperWonderfulFrabjousGodly Homeschooling Mom (none of us are that!). It's because you love God, and your life shows that loving God is better than anything else.
You once taught me never to underestimate the power of an example, whether good or bad. Mommy, I don't think I could underestimate the power of your example. How kind, how unspeakably kind of God, to save you out of your sin and make you into what you are today! The Gospel is effective. It's effect on you dazzles me every day of my life, and makes me more in love with God than ever.
